Mosquitoes strike deal with Insecticides
Mosquitoes in Nigeria, under a newly inaugurated body, Mosquitoes Association of Nigeria (MAN) have struck a deal with members of Insecticides Association of Nigeria (IAN) yesterday in Canal Estate, Okota Lagos. Underlining the deal is an agreement that all Insecticides in Nigeria should curtail their attacks and murder of Mosquitoes by reducing their (harmful) active ingredients and their effectiveness. The Insecticides are to make their smell more pronounced to human nose but actually of little or no consequence to the well being of Mosquitoes. The Mosquitoes, guaranteed of their safety under the deal, are to increase their population in multiples, engage in more deadly attacks on Nigerians – women and children inclusive. This, according to the deal will drive the demand for Insecticides up and induce higher price for all brands of Insecticides. It will also guarantee more human blood for the mosquitoes and ensure maximum life span for Mosquitoes.
The leader of Insecticides Association of Nigeria, Dr. Aygon Aid, assured the Mosquitoes of maximum cooperation and total compliance by his members while Prof. (Mrs.) Anophelos Anophelia, on behalf of the Mosquitoes in Nigeria vowed to inflict more horror on Nigerians and drive the sales figures of Insecticides up. She also assured the body of mass reproduction of Mosquitoes in trillions to meet the projected population.
A joint-Committee was also set up to harmonize the issues and reach out to Anti-Malarial Products in Nigeria (AMPN) with a view to bringing them into “an envisaged tripartite union of the three bodies. The committee is to report back to the central body in three weeks time.
Report filed in by Ike Ezugwu. It is a satire induced by mosquito bites he encountered in Lagos.