Good parenting: 9 great tips you can’t miss
Good parenting helps children succeed in life supports their academic pursuit; promotes the development of their intellectual curiosity; motivation to learn and desire to achieve. It deters children from anti-social behaviour, delinquency, and drug and alcohol use. Good parenting helps protect children against anxiety, depression, eating disorders and other types of psychological and emotional distress. There are tested ways that when applied or followed will help parents effectively bring up their children and prepare them for the future. A well-brought-up child will definitely be a blessing to his or her parents and the entire society.
- What you do matters!
How you treat and respond to your child should come from a knowledgeable, deliberate sense of what you want to accomplish as a parent in the life of your child. Don’t ever forget to always ask yourself, the effect your decisions will have on your child. Always bear in mind that whatever you do at anytime matters. They all add up.
- A Child cannot be too loved
When it comes to genuine expressions of warmth and affection, you cannot love your child too much. It is simply not possible to spoil a child with love. What we often think of as the product of spoiling a child is never the result of showing a child too much love. It is usually the consequence of giving a child things in place of love; things like leniency, lowered expectations or material possessions.
- Be involved in your child’s life.
Being an involved parent takes time and hard work and it often means rethinking and rearranging your priorities. This could equally mean sacrificing what you want to do (your engagements) for what your child needs you to do. Try also to be there for your child in all ways possible.
- Adjust your parenting style to fit your child
Make sure your parenting style keeps pace with your child’s development. You may wish you could slow down or freeze-frame your child’s life, but this is the last thing he or she wants. You may be fighting getting older, but all he or she wants is to grow up. You should learn to accommodate their excesses at times and find out what makes them act the way they do instead of giving them outright punishment over every little mistake they make.
- Establish and set rules and stick by these rules.
If you don’t manage your child’s behaviour when he or she is young, he or she will have a hard time learning how to manage when getting older and you sure won’t be around all the time to help do the checking. Any time of the day or night, you should always be able to answer these three questions: Where is my child? Who is with my child? What is my child doing? The rules your child has learned from you are going to shape the rules he applies to his or herself throughout his or her life time.
- Foster your child’s independence
Setting limits helps your child develop a sense of self-control. Encouraging independence helps him or her develop a sense of self-direction. To be successful in life, he or she is going to need both. Accepting that it is normal for children to push for autonomy is absolutely the key to effective parenting. Many parents mistakenly equate their child’s independence with rebelliousness or disobedience. Children push for independence because it is part of human nature to want to feel in control rather than to feel controlled. Therefore, learn to dialog with your children, not be at logger heads all the time.
- Make sure you are consistent
Do not vary your rules from day to day in an unpredictable fashion or enforce them only haphazardly. Your most important disciplinary tool is consistency. Identify your no-go-areas. Do not compromise on set rules. The more your authority is based on wisdom and not on power, the less your child will challenge it.
- Avoid harsh discipline
Of all the forms of punishment that parents use, the one with the worst side effects is physical punishment. Children who are spanked, hit or slapped are more prone to fighting with other children. They are more likely to be bullies and more likely to use aggression to solve disputes with others. Don’t be a monster in disguise as your child’s parent by beating up your child and giving him or her scars on their skin, that will never erase from their memories no matter what happens and it can bring an eternal hatred in their heart for such parent.
- Explain your rules and decisions
Good parents have expectations they want their child to live up to. Generally, parents over-explain to young children and under-explain to adolescents. What is obvious to you may not be evident to a 12-year-old. Therefore, learn to come down to their level by explaining and giving rules to them to suit their present age and level.