Causes of Failure in Marriages
“When you enter into a marriage, you never think about the fact that a large percentage of marriages actually fail. Marriages fail for many reasons and if you’ve had a failed marriage your main reason for failure might be different than most others. However, there are some reasons that are consistent across most failed marriages.” – Kim Stern
Some of the reasons why marriages fail include, but not limited to the following:
1. Financial Problems
For the most part, it is the lack of open communication about money problems that jeopardizes a marriage more than the financial problems alone. Everyone has financial issues concerning bills, debts, spending and budgets. How a couple deals with those issues can make or break a relationship.
2. Communications Problems
If a couple has communication problems prior to marriage, those problems are likely to get worse after tying the knot. It is important that both partners are able to discuss every aspect of married life openly and on a regular basis. A marriage without two-way communication will not last long.
3. Family Problems
Family relationships with children, parents, in-laws, siblings and step-children are all sources of marital problems. Raising children increases stress in the home and can cause minor differences of opinion to become major rifts in a relationship. Discretion is the better part of valor when it comes to family and marriage.
4. Sex Problems
Sex is an important part of marriage and the source of many marriage problems. Every marriage requires the act of consummation by sexual intercourse. Failure to consummate a marriage or problems with sexual frequency, quality, and infidelity are all common reasons for marriage failure and divorce.
5. Friend Problems
Close personal friends of either spouse do not always make the transition to friends of the marriage. Some relationships with friends can be toxic to the marriage if they insert themselves between spouses. A good friend will enhance a married couple’s relationship. People who try to break a marriage apart are not quality friends.
6. Addiction Problems
Drug, alcohol and gambling abuse are all forms of addiction that are very detrimental to a marriage. Even without the presence of physical or verbal abuse, the behavior of an addicted spouse can make normal married life impossible. Addictions are also a common source of money problems in a marriage as well.
7. Abuse Problems
Abuse of any kind is never acceptable in a marriage. Physical and verbal abuse are all too often the causes of a marital break-down. Sexual abuse and emotional abuse also fall into this category. One partner’s desire to degrade their spouse in an ongoing pattern of abuse will surely cause a marriage to fail in time.
8. Personality Problems
There are many kinds of personality traits that can make a couple incompatible and unable to reach agreement in matters concerning sex, intellect and emotion. Partners that have compulsive needs to please or belittle can make honest communication impossible. Negative personality traits make a long-term relationship unbearable and divorce a real possibility.
9. Expectation Problems
The ability to adapt to changes in married life often depends on having realistic expectations about a spouse and the marriage relationship itself. It is common for disillusionment to set in when romantic or other unrealistic expectations are not met. Over time, unmet expectations can generate enough dissatisfaction to make meaningful compromise impossible.
10. Time Problems
Work and home schedules are not always compatible. Time spent apart and time spent together are equally important for maintaining a good married relationship. When time is used in a balanced way, it results in opportunities for growth and harmony. A lot of time spent alone without a corresponding period of quality time spent together puts a lot of stress on a marriage.